Tomorrow is the very last day. Tomorrow my mind needs to be made up. Tomorrow I will still be twenty. The day after tomorrow. I will be 21 years old as soon as midnight strikes. Twenty-one. Twenty-one. I will be on this earth for two decades plus one. Two decades plus one year and what do I have to show for it?!?!

A downwards trend of an education career. An ex boyfriend, a boyfriend, and a guy who won't stop chasing after me. A family that went from a house to an apartment. A church that now rarely sees me. Friends who actually might not miss me.

I've never smoked pot or done any drugs. I've only gotten second hand smoke. I've never gotten drunk but I've already drank alcohol. I don't smoke. I don't smoke cigarettes or anything, I just do hookah every once in a while. I don't have a car and I don't know how to drive. I put my mother in debt and I don't have a job. I have a high school diploma but I won't have my Associates for a while. I haven't even gone to a legit college yet!!


I have so much going on in my head and I can't let it all out. I can't rant to my boyfriend cause then he'll think that I'm overreacting and worrying too much and think that I'm taking out all of my anger on him and blaming him. Yet, when he rants and raves and needs to let out some steam. I let him. Is it so bad that I want the same?!?!


Don't misunderstand or jump to conclusions that my relationship with him is one sided. I am very much so happy. He's a super awesome guy. I just am so totally am frustrated right now!!