A Void

There's something missing in my life. I want to say that I don't know what it is but I actually do know. It's not the first time I've felt this void before and I'm sure that's not going to be the last. I just wish that I could fill this void without losing what I already have. It's painful to think about it. I think of what I have that's right in front of me. I think of what I once had. I think of what could have been. Those three instances are three different people. But that's a story for a later time.

This void I have is cause I've lost something. Well, I've lost a few somethings. Well, it's more like I've lost my way. I'm not on the path anymore. The path that I am suppose to be on. I'm sure that at some point, I came to a fork in the road and the path that I chose to take was a detour of the actual path I'm suppose to be on. Where I am suppose to be is going to take me longer to get there with the path I'm on right now. I want to make a change but I don't want to lose what I have. I am happy with what I have and to fill the void without the consequences would be better.

I really could keep on ranting about this as if I don't know the solution and I actually do know the solution, I just know that I will have to deal with the consequence sooner or later. I'd like the consequence to be later rather than sooner but I'd rather have it not happen at all. The first solution to this void is to start going to church again. I have been far a way for far too long. It's time to head back home.